Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
A bitchslap is in order.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
