I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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