She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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