Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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