We won't sleep together?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
