on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
