apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
