I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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