if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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