You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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