So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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