You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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