remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
