u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Four minutes until I can fart!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
