I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
