did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
