drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
