This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
