So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
