found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
