i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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