I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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