Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
