I just saw a hot homeless man
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Even my vagina gasped.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
