but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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