take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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