She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
a search helicopter?!
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
