dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
