My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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