Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
