Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i out mim tonsoeep
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