Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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