I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
