we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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