My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
