I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
