ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
