and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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