No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
