can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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