I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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