Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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