Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
