You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
