Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
