you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
