he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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