I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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