So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize