Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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