She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize