Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize