You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
