yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
