I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
