just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
