I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
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