1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
